A Hard Week-end

This past week-end was definitely not the greatest. It started off with some really fun plans that I had for Friday night getting postponed, so that was disappointing. We were running low on groceries and I wasn't sure what to make for supper. It was really nice outside, so I suggested Jared should bbq some hot dogs. I, obviously, am not supposed to eat hot dogs, but I was low on food options, so I decided to have one along with a salad. I had terrible stomach pain after that and just felt rotten, and then that night I was up several times with the runs and one round of puking. Jared got sick the next day, but his symptoms were a bit different. He had a fever and a headache and we both just lay on different couches for most of the day. I REALLY needed to go to the store for some groceries but was feeling very weak and exhausted. I dragged my butt to the store anyway and picked up the essentials. Then, I came back and quickly cooked up some rice pasta and homemade alfredo sauce for myself. I took it along in my purse and went to that baby's funeral. I knew there was going to be a light supper after consisting of buns, lunch meat, cheese, etc. and I didn't want to cheat after what I had just been through, so I brought my own supper.

The funeral was sad, of course, but also filled with hope as the focus was on Jesus. Part of the message that stood out was when our pastor said, "When you're filled with pain, the best thing you can do is worship Jesus." He's the only one who can take away the pain. There were a few difficult moments for me. The first was when the couple came walking in and the Dad was carrying a little white box with his baby's body inside (it was closed). They walked in while the band softly played an instrumental version of "Jesus Loves Me." It made me want to bawl my eyes out, but I managed to not. Then, the pastor told about how their baby died in his Mom's arms with his Daddy holding his hand. That was really hard for me to hear. They picked the songs for the funeral and they chose: Amazing Grace, How Great Is Our God, and It Is Well With My Soul. Wow! To me, that was a testimony of their complete trust in the Lord. The other hard part for me was right as the meal was starting, they showed a slideshow. The first part was one song with mostly maternity pictures. The 2nd part was them with their baby and the song they chose was "You Are So Beautiful To Me." I start to cry every time I think about it. They took quite a few pictures in the 23 hours he was alive with family members and some just of him and there were some really beautiful ones. The hardest ones for me were when they were bending over and kissing his face. I decided ahead of time that I wasn't going to go see the burial and it turns out I was so weak that standing and walking were difficult for me. I bottled up most of my tears and then let them all out after I got home. I was sitting on the rocking chair in the living room, reading my Bible and talking to Jesus and I just sat there and cried. The next morning (yesterday), I woke up and started praying and just started crying again. I'm extremely blessed that I've now only been to 3 funerals in my life. The 1st was my Grandpa when I was 2, which I don't remember. The 2nd was Jared's uncle who died of cancer when I was pregnant with Kiera. I think I met him once at our wedding, so I totally didn't know him.

Yesterday, I played keyboard and sung for praise + worship at church. During the practice, I still felt really weak and had to sit on a tall chair. I prayed and asked God for special strength to be able to stand for worship during the service, and He answered and I was able to stand! After, I was so exhausted just sitting on a chair during the message, but felt a bit better by the time we got home. We ordered a pizza for lunch and I haven't had any problems from it, so I'm wondering if my body is ok with wheat + dairy. I haven't tried them just by themselves yet, so I'm planning to do that in the next couple of weeks. Jared went to go see a movie with friends in the evening and I really wasn't looking forward to being by myself with the kids, but it went really well! We ended up dancing and running around in the kitchen singing, "You're So Good To Me, Lord!" Then, we rested and sat down on the floor and sung, "Amazing Grace." It was just one of those moments I want to save in my memory forever. So, the week-end was hard but it ended off really well and I experienced God's grace. He is so good in every situation!